Why Balance in Motherhood Isn't Enough

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We’ve heard it a million times before.

Life is all about balance.

Yet, rarely is the phrase mentioned with any useful advice on how to master this balance especially as a mom.

All that comes to my mind is walking a tightrope dressed in a food-stained blouse holding a beam with kids and the husband on one end and EVERYTHING else on the other.

The truth is we can try to balance our life, but inevitably something will come up.

Your child will get sick.

A deadline at work will have you working late.

Weeks of trying to do it all will leave you feeling exhausted and burnt out.

We don’t need more balance.

We need practical advice that actually works.

Something you can use after being up with babe five times at night, and still showing up to the office and being effective while you’re there.

This is what really works for mothers, and it doesn’t involve a tightrope.

Manage your energy not your time

Each day we’re dealing with countless energy drains but here’s how we can combat them.

Figure out where you’re energy is going each day.

Is it clearing up the endless clutter in your home?

Managing your to-do list?

Or maybe it’s setting boundaries with friends and family.

Tackle these energy drains one at a time. Start by cleaning up your home, cupboard by cupboard. You don’t have to throw all of your stuff in your living room and spend days sorting, but you can tackle the receipt drawer or the overstuffed toy chest.

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Forget the to-do list

Start using a system to get things done.

Create a weekly schedule instead of a daily one, so you know what you absolutely need to get done.

Schedule your tasks and work in undisrupted blocks that include:

  • Putting your phone out of sight and programming it to only ring for important calls.
  • Close all of those pesky browser tabs.
  • Step out of the social media vacuum. Your ex’s latest vacay photos can wait.
  • Limit your priorities to three per day. No more, no less.

It’s time to set yourself up for success by being realistic about what you can get done.

Learn to say no with kindness

Don’t respond to any request big or small right away.

Too often when we’re on the spot we’ll quickly respond with a yes without thinking things through.

Maybe you don’t really have the time to volunteer at a school event, or you can’t take on another big project at work.

It’s okay to say no.

Honour yourself and your boundaries by not pushing yourself more than you need to.

Because the mom life struggle is difficult enough with adding even more things to our list.

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Do less each day

Start by using the 80/20 rule.

This rule states that 80 percent of the results we achieve come from only 20 percent of our actions.

Shocking, but true.

To leverage the rule, start by identifying the most important things to you for your business and your life.

What are you doing that has the biggest impact in your life and the best results?

Is it sales calls?

Getting to bed early?

Mapping out your day the night before?

Spend your time doing what matters and cut down or cut out everything else.

Creating space in your calendar, so you aren’t rushing from one thing to the next is key along with scheduling in tasks that need to get done, so they actually happen.

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Give up the idea of perfection

You’ll have good days and bad days.

Give yourself grace.

You’ll miss the Mother’s Day tea at your child’s daycare (true story).

You’ll forget to make something for the community bake sale.

You’ll feel guilty rushing to work in the morning when your littlest just wants to cuddle.

Despite it all, you are an incredible mom.

You’re doing the best you can and that’s what matters.

Ask for help

We’re ingrained to believe we’re all need to be supermoms as a requirement of modern motherhood.

Not true.

We need our tribe and our village more than ever. Even if we feel like we don’t always have access to help we need to find it.

Maybe it’s asking to work from home once or twice a week or it’s finding good affordable childcare.

Do what you need to get help every once in a while.

Your wellness and sanity depend on it.

Practice true self-care

I love a spa day as much as anyone but true self-care isn’t about what we do for ourselves every once in a while, it’s what we do for ourselves daily that counts.

It’s the time we take even when we feel like we don’t have enough to exercise. It’s reading an inspirational book for a few minutes each day or waking up early to relax and enjoy your coffee before the mom responsibilities begin.

It’s saying no to yet another scheduled activity that leaves us feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

It’s spending less time with that friend that can’t help pressing our buttons and pointing out our biggest insecurities.

It’s saying yes to ourselves a little bit each day.

It’s acknowledging we don’t need to fit more into our days to feel worthy.

We are enough as it is.

The only thing we need to balance is the good thoughts to counteract the negative ones.

For everything else we just need real tools that work.

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